Doppleganger (evilgrins) wrote in 2_sex,

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Things Men Need to know (advice from women)

  • The reason our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually CHANGE our underwear.

  • The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet bowl.

  • If we're watching football with you, it's not bonding. We're watching because of the butts.

  • If the truth hurts, ask us those ego-sensitive questions on your payday.

  • Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie.

  • Don't fret if you find out that the postman delivers more than once a day.

  • Please don't drive when you're not driving.

  • Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.

  • Our bedtime headaches are inversely proportional to the number of baths that you take.

  • If you were really looking for an honest answer you wouldn't ask in bed.

  • The next time you joke about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused by rubbernecking at miniskirts.

  • If only women gossip, how do you and your buddies keep track of "who's easy?"

  • Stop telling us that most male strippers are gay: WE DON'T CARE!

  • Start parting and combing your hair to one side early in life: You'll never see the island coming.

  • Have a strong need for male bonding? Visit your proctologist.

  • Your contributions to your child should go above and beyond that chromosome you unselfishly sacrificed.

  • Eye contact is best established above our shoulder level.
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